i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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