tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
