no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
did i walk over a car last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
