Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
