exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
