Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
