I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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