at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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