I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This baby is an asshole
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
