So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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