I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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