oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
