Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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