I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize