I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This baby is an asshole
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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