You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
