If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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