If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
