Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize