I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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