??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
