i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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