I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
