I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
