i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
