He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
