i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
