dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
