I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
