I just pynch a tree in the face
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Shame is for Republicans.
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