so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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