And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
