; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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