She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can you bring me the toilet please
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
