paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
