im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize