Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
