a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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