Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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