ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
