I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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