that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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