I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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