why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
