i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
