but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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