i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
