shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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