All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
