So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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