btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
