Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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