Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
