I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
