No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
