U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
