he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize