Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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