Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
