this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
