we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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