Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
